The Sprout

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All living things are ephemeral, but some pass so quickly that they are barely here at all. What does it mean to be an embryo for 5 weeks and 6 days and then suddenly to stop growing, to die? Manifesting life for such a short time and then returning to God or the energy field from where this being came. The baby I called Sprout is no longer alive inside of me, and began to leave my body on Sunday. My pregnancy was 13 weeks along, but Sprout stopped growing probably before his or her 6th week, maybe before his heart started beating.
We planted a small, red Barberry bush in the front yard today in Sprout’s honor. It was Peter’s idea and I’m very happy we did something to commemorate the passing. Already it has given me a focal point to remember this tiny life that was with us so briefly, but felt part of our family already.

Blueberry Musings

I had a small revelation one recent morning as I was sorting through two pints of blueberries. Donovan had finished his breakfast of blueberries, bananas and baby cereal mixed with milk and homemade pureed pears. He was in his high chair finishing up with handfuls of Toasted O's, while I was sorting (and eating many of) the remaining berries, placing the mushy, baggy-skinned ones in one pint box and the firm ones in a little red vintage Pyrex dish. The choice blueberries looked so lovely in that dish that the process felt artful. The thought crossed my mind that these simple, artful moments should add up to something bigger. How could I capture them, express them? The reality is that the experience was mine alone and that I might just have to be content to enjoy such moments and let them pass without seizing them as mine.

My Favorite Subject

I don't have to go to work these days because I stay at home with my baby, Donovan. He is 14 months already! From his very first days I have called him Peanut. Or Mr. Peanut. It's what probably millions of other parents call their child, so sometimes I wish I had a more creative name for this most special boy, but Peanut it was, and still is. I am dedicating my days to raising Mr. Peanut and I love to take pictures of him. There are from last week. I was having a really hard afternoon until I captured these.

Genuine Green Effort #1: Quit One Disposable Product

Going "green" is trendy these days. Magazines are publishing green issues, banks are calling their products green (which seems to be about cashing in on the word "green" and have nothing to do with environmental sustainability), and many, many consumer products are calling themselves "green". Our society as a whole is becoming ever more aware of how Americans' voracious product consumption is detrimentally impacting our environment. Awareness is the first step toward change, so this is progress. However, to radically move our society to a cleaner, healthier plane of existence, individuals must make a greater personal effort everyday to lessen his or her consumer waste, avoid the use of harmful chemicals and toxins, and choose only whole, organic food.

Focusing on the "reducing consumer waste-ables" front, there is much that the average American can do to make a difference. Unfortunately it seems like most people go on consuming mass quantities of disposable products and when you estimate, how many Americans drink beverages and eat food in throwaway containers -- EVERYDAY -- the numbers are staggering. For example, the Clean Air Council website cites these devastating statistics:

• Americans throw away 2.5 million plastic bottles every hour.
• The average American office worker goes through around 500 disposable cups every year.
• Sixty-five billion aluminum soda cans are used each year.
• Nearly 44 million American workers purchase or eat lunch out every weekday.
• In the U.S., 4.39 pounds of trash per day and up to 56 tons of trash per year are created by the average person.

Perhaps the average American does nothing to reduce the amount of trash he or she creates because they think "I am just one person," -- if they think about it at all. More likely, they were never taught that it matters and have never seen a landfill.

For consumers who were raised to think the products on the marketplace are perfectly safe and our way of life is sustainable for the Earth, a massive sea change is required, which might seem so overwhelming that one simply continues eating and using the products they've always eaten or used, and thrown away. Adding to the problem is the ever growing offering of disposable consumer products. It's a dualistic dilemma: on one hand, green practices, eco-consciousness, and environmental sustainability are overwhelmingly considered the "right thing to do" yet consumers are offered more disposable, plastic, single-use items than ever before from diapers, wipes, bags, paper goods (paper bads!), take-out containers, drink bottles, cups, lids, insulators, utensils, boxes, and packaging.

It's obvious, our population must stop its daily usage of so many disposable items, so start with one product. That is, make a commitment to quit ONE disposable product.

• Carry water is your own re-usable water bottle. (Eradicating the environmental blight, which is the use of throw-away plastic water bottles is #1.)
  
• Bag your groceries in re-usable bags.
  
• Keep a folded-up, shopping tote in your purse for department store or any other store purchases.
• Bring your own cup to the coffee shop.
• Use cloth diapers. It's easier than you think!
  
• Have take-out restaurants put your food in your own re-usable to-go container.
  

If every American made one of these efforts every day, or better yet, ALL of these efforts everyday, we would see the difference on our city streets, in our green spaces, on the beach and in the ocean.

The Black Swallowtail Butterfly

Yesterday afternoon, I spotted a beautiful butterfly flitting about in the grass of our backyard. It seemed unable to take flight and after inspecting it closely, I sadly realized it was near the end of its life. But what a gorgeous butterfly, one I'd never seen before: black with white spots running along the bottom half of its wings and all over it's body. Higher up on its hindwings were brilliant patches of periwinkle blue punctuated with a bright orange tiger-eye on the inner edge. The underside of the butterfly's wings were even more brilliant with orange and blue patches mixed into the white spots.

I looked it up online and learned that it's a Black Swallowtail butterfly and happens to be quite common to New Jersey and Pennsylvania, and to North America in general. Well common or not, it was my first Black Swallowtail encounter, so it was a rare and special treat to have it land in my humble little backyard plot amid the many, rows and rows of houses in our city neighborhood.

I wanted to help it fly even knowing that it was likely futile and that I might damage it's fragile wings by touching it. Eventually I couldn't help but scoop it up ever so gently with a plastic sheet and place it on one of a blue wildflowers. Maybe it could enjoy one final sip of nectar, I thought, but once on the flower, it lost it grip and floated down to the ground. I left it alone for awhile.

When I returned a short while later, I was horrified to see minions of ants swarming over the butterfly. Already the the ants had burrowed into its abdomen, eating its insides. I shuddered. Had the butterfly died before the ants started eating it? I hope so. The insect world is fascinating, yet gruesome and terrifying as any horror movie world.

Summer Solstice

Today the sun cast its light light longer than any other day of the year and that makes it a notable day to start my blog. It was light outside here in Philadelphia until after 9 pm. I didn't take note of the moment when the sun officially set or when it looked "officially" dark, but I looked it up online and found a table that cites sunset was at 8:33 pm and the length of this day here in Philly was 15 hours, 59 seconds.

So about the rogue pumpkin. Last fall I bought a medium-ish pumpkin and left it outside all through the winter. It became deflated-looking, collapsing into itself. Once things thawed a bit in February or March I tried to pick it up to throw it out, but the stem tore off in my hand and all I could do was drop the soggy heap of rotted skins, pulp and seeds into a clay pot I happened to have sitting next to it. Later in the spring a green leaf-shoot emerged from the pumpkin carcass. Now as a witness to its lifecycle, I definitely couldn't throw it out, so I planted the shoot and a few other seedlings, which had also started, in the corner of our small, city backyard.

I knew pumpkins were vine plants and needed a good amount of space, but somehow I believed that if these pumpkins took root, and grew into healthy plants, and bore pumpkins, they would do so in a bonzai manner, keeping tight and small in the 2' x 2' space I alotted them. Well, they have no concern that they're growing in a city backyard and have become huge plants already -- and it's only June. It's months until pumpkin season. One in particular, is advancing out onto the grass, heading for one of our Adirondack lawnchairs, vine tentacles outstretched like a hands feeling for an anchor to wrap itself around. It's almost as if it "sees" the chair and set out to reach it. Fascinating and a little creepy. This is the rogue pumpkin. I suppose I will have to tame this vine, but for know I'm watching and waiting to see what it does.